When my client said this, I knew they would NOT be successful . . .
Read on to discover two words that guarantee failure.
Whenever I meet with a new client, I do my best to eliminate any preconceived notions and start with a blank canvas … to listen with unbiased ears, hear their story, feel their pain, understand their situation, meet them where they are, and put together a plan that best fits them as a unique individual.
But there are two words that absolutely make me cringe. When I hear them, a little scenario goes through my head – I stand up so quickly that my chair falls over, gritting my teeth, pointing my finger, stomping my foot, never saying a word, then storming out! Of course, I don’t do this. However, I DO make a mental note that they are poised for failure, facing an uphill battle.
So, what are the two simple little words?
What part of the English language has such terrible power?
What are two words that guarantee failure? If only . . .
If only I liked vegetables.
If only I had more time.
If only my spouse supported me.
If only I enjoyed exercise.
If only I had a workout partner.
If only I knew how to cook.
If only my parents had taught me better.
If only I lived closer to the gym.
If only I didn’t have these nagging injuries.
Here’s the only “If only” that can bring success . . .
If only I would take responsibility.
Here’s what I’d like to scream at my new client in that daydream scenario I mentioned earlier . . . If only you quit making excuses and playing the victim, you would actually make progress, start to believe in yourself and achieve success!
Sadly, many will never have that epiphany and be successful, because of a constant flurry of “If onlys” leaves you powerless. As long as your situation, your obesity, your health problems, your sucky diet, your muffin top is someone else’s fault, YOU are guaranteed to fail. In his iconic book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen R. Covey says it like this . . .
Whenever you find a problem, you will find the finger pointing of blame. Society is addicted to playing the victim … Blaming everything and everyone else for our problems and challenges may be the norm and may provide temporary relief from the pain, but it also chains us to these very problems.
As long as it’s not your fault, you can’t do anything about it. As Covey said, it provides only temporary relief from your situation. It’s an attempt at the easy way out. It requires nothing of you and might even get you a little pity. It’s also very weak and will leave you in the same sad place … for – ev – er.
Quit passing the buck and fully embrace your situation.
You’ll experience a twinge of pain (not nearly as bad as you might think), then . . . suddenly . . . you’ll feel a wave of empowerment that washes over you like a refreshing blast of cool water on a scorching hot summer day.
Cue the Rocky music!
Believe it or not, you CAN do this. Now, finally, YOU have all the power you’ll ever need to take positive steps, change your circumstances, and improve your life!
This process can be scary and is certainly challenging. I encourage you to enlist the help of others. Find someone that cares about you enough to be honest and hold you accountable. A dear friend, your spouse, a sibling, or possibly hire a trainer or coach. You’ll be amazed at the power of a teammate!
If “If Onlys” are a problem for you, then here’s my challenge …
Grab a notecard and write this down . . .
I’m through with if onlys. I will quit making excuses and playing the victim, and start to actually believe in myself and the power I hold to make some awesome changes in my life!
You may think that sounds like some hokey motivational speaker stuff. Well, for some of you, it’s exactly what you need to read, hear, and absorb. Write it down on the notecard and read it (aloud if possible) twice in the morning and twice before bed. Program your brain for success and bask in that incredible wave of cool empowerment that will wash over you!
As always, I’d love to help get things rolling in the right direction. Learn the other Top 5 Weight Loss Mistakes by watching the Free Video Guide. Or, if you’d like more info on Food and Fitness Coaching (or as my clients call it – Get Your Body Right Coaching), just shoot me an emailCoreyLittleCoaching [at] gmail.com. If only you would, I would be oh so happy 😉